Building Relationships for Successful DEI Work

Can you name and describe the processes you believe are essential for doing the work of supporting diversity, equity, and inclusion?

Binaya Subedi: I think a really big part of what we in Project Ilumina emphasize is relationships. We work to develop relationships that are genuine, so it's not superficial but something that's historically based and culturally powerful in a lot of different ways. And if you don't craft that relationship with people, meaningful relationships, then it becomes problematic.

I think the relationship has to be based on a really genuine desire to connect. It's not a business relationship. It's a genuine desire to know somebody and learn from somebody and in our case to genuinely enable the person, so that the person has the skills and knowledge to transform society. In academia, we think about these relationships mostly in connection to our graduate students. I think all of us have those relationships that we have cherished because it's a very transformative kind of work. And I also think about the places I work, and workspaces I think is one place we have to transform because there are too many hierarchies, too many contexts with inequitable relationships, whether that might be gender-based, race-based, linguistically-based. So we have to transform this, and that includes classrooms, in terms of how we work with students and how we have this kind of a connection with students, so that students actually do well in our classrooms. There's a lot of research that points out how teachers can make this incredible impact on student learning and helping students navigate. It boils down to curiosity. Are you going to trigger that curiosity with your students? Are you going to create that curiosity with your colleagues, so that you're genuinely, meaningfully, connecting with your colleagues, so that your colleague feels valued? Belonging is very, very important.

Jeong-eun Rhee: I think for me, too, DEI work is relationship building in a particular context. If we think about DEI work at a particular institutional level or at an organizational level, each institution has its own history, culture, politics, and dynamics. But also, at the same time that organization is situated in the larger context of US history and politics. And then of course it is also located in the larger world and each individual in that organization is differently connected to the organizational context, national context, and global context. And so, let's say that if we work with a particular organization even at that level, still we're dealing with so many different people bringing in so many different histories and politics and personal experiences. So I don't think our role is really convincing people to think one way or another. But kind of almost letting them negotiate with each other to figure out what would be the kind of organizational structure, culture, or ethos that they can work with. And, of course, people will not be 100% satisfied with where they're going because everybody has to compromise. But then I think our role as Project Ilumina is to facilitate that process so that they can make their own decisions.

Mary Pigliacelli: For me, too, building relationships is such an essential first step to work that aims to create more equitable and inclusive spaces. In fact, on a very personal level, I would not be able to do this kind of work if it weren’t for the people — the friends, colleagues, students, and staff — I have been able to build relationships with. Those connections and the talking, listening, and learning that they allow, make my work in DEI both possible and essential. And when these connections are extended through the opportunities to meet with other people in other institutions who are eager to work towards equity and inclusion in their own organizations, or even those people who are concerned about or fearful of change, those can still be named as really joyful opportunities because they are so full of potential and possibility.

Roland Sintos Coloma: I agree that relationships are incredibly important in this work because with relationships, you see them and they see you, not just from this vantage point of teacher/learner or expert/recipient, or even provider and client. These are dynamics that can really come into play depending on the context you are in. But I think relationship is crucial because it elicits a few things: there’s trust, there’s respect, there’s communication, there is a sense that this mutually benefits the different parties involved, and that you don’t come into a place and just sort of go in and go out. So you don’t just parachute in, do what you need to do, and then leave and you’re no longer responsible or engaged. 

I think part of relationship building is this kind of ethical relationality between and among parties involved so that there is that ethic of care, that ethic in some ways of love, in the work that we are doing. I’m very mindful for instance in our work with schools districts, I’ve often built some relationship with them previously in my work as a faculty member at the university, and of course my connection with their upper leadership, and in my ongoing work with the different representatives that I’m collaborating with, it’s always helpful to get to know them, not just based on their titles and their roles in the institution but also what’s important to them, who they are as people, and as people connected to this institution providing service and working with students’ families and communities.

I do hope that Project Ilumina can become a partner with different organizations and institutions that want to make sustainable and meaningful change within their organization. And that could be in the realm of their work environment and climate, it could be around their policies, curriculum, and practices, or it could really be around particular topics or professional development needs that they might have. My hope is that Project Ilumina could really be that resource, that collaborator, in that necessary and important change-work that institutions and organizations want to do for themselves. 

We can’t just be this external group that comes in and says “Here’s what you ought to do.” We can certainly leverage and mobilize what we know based on research, based on effective practices, based on some exemplars that we have seen in a variety of settings and bring that to bear as examples, as models, as guidelines for what organizations can or might consider doing. But ultimately it’s going to have to fit and be tailored to the conditions, the context, the people, the particularities of organizations and institutions so that it’s going to be much more tailored and meaningful for them, as opposed to “well this worked here so this should work well with you as well.” That’s not necessarily the case. We could certainly learn from external or other kinds of exemplars, and what might we tweak or tailor for their particular needs or context or priorities, but that has to be part of the shift. 

Simultaneously, one of the things that I hope Project Ilumina continues to do is to also identify the assets and resources that are already in place in those organizations and institutions, that we don’t just see them from a broken or deficit perspective, that here’s what they don’t have or that there’s something wrong with them. But rather that they’ve taken this important and significant step in saying “We need help. We have some challenges that we’re grappling with and we need support, guidance, resources, to work through this.” And I think in doing so, even that help-seeking is a strength already. And for us to continuously identify what are those other resources, assets, and strengths that they have already in place, including the people who are already there, and how can we tap into that so that we can leverage that towards the kind of direction that they would want to take.